Sunday, November 23, 2003
Well, I finally got my trip stuff over with, taken care of important matters, and made a new blog. Now I am closing this one, but leaving it up for anyone who needs (or wants) to catch up. Also, since I can't figure out the redirection code, I'll just leave the link to my new blog on here...simple, eh? ;)
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 4:06 am by Preci0us-S0ul
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Yay for me, it's my Birthday today! I officially turned 21, time for a toast. I wonder why I'm so nervous...it's just a birthday, it's just a number. Sure I can drink now, but that's not new...I've had alcohol before. It's not the gambling thing either, because here in Arizona (when I was a baby till just a few months ago) 18 was the legal age. I know I'll be fine, it's just weird...
Last Saturday was the birthday party. Since only 5 of my family members can come on this trip, and because my sister and dad have their birthday within days of mine, we had a little get together. It was fun, but Amber couldn't make it, and Jeremy didn't return my call. I don't know about him, he's breaking my heart. Well ok, not to that extent, but ya know...it's still sad. We used to be so close, and now he doesn't even have time for me. I know he has some growing to do (he is only 20) but still, I came to expect more from him. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me, he's just being a typical young male. They suck.
Amber and I are supposed to do something tonight, who knows what. At first we were gonna hang at her place with champagne, pie, and movies...but now her little (who isn't so little at 16) brother is staying at her place for the next week. So I was a little bummed, her brothers and I don't get along all that well. Not to be discouraged however, I suggested that we just go out to dinner, go see a movie, and when we start to get tired we could call it a night. She told me she doesn't want to leave her brother alone too long, she asked him not only if he minded if she left, but how long she could stay out. Um...hello?! Did we not have plans? Is he not a big boy now? Is it not your place? Is it not my birthday? I guess I'm supposed to understand why she has to be home by 9 or 10pm to make him dinner. @@ She seemed upset when I asked her to compromise...give me a break. So the deal is, when I get off of work, I go over to her place, make the pie so it has a chance to set, go do something, and be back early. Maybe I shouldn't have given in so much, and yeah, she's being a bit unfair...but her friendship means more to me than a little birthday night. We'll still be together, we'll still be celebrating...yeah, it'll be alright. God willing. =)
I gotta go to the store soon, get some stuff for our Vegas trip. That way I won't have to spend 40 bucks a day on food. @@ They sooo over charge.
Oooo, I took some new pics of Jaden, Sierra and Jaxon...
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 1:54 am by Preci0us-S0ul
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
I finally dragged my sorry butt to the computer...do I get a cookie now? =) It's been a rough few days, with JR passing away, and with all my testing, I've been all panic-y lately. My therapist said it's because I keep too much inside, eh...whatever. I just hate it...I get to where I wish to cut my chest out. Now, for those of you who have had panic attacks, you know what I'm talking about. If not, trust me...
Every time something came up around here, I wrote it down so I could type it out...here we go!
*A few days ago, Amber and I went to Super Walmart and went crazy. She let me pick out some stuff to decorate my bathroom with, which was cool. I wanted to get all matching stuff, but one thing was missing...a trash can. So I picked out some fabric and beads to match the pattern and design, and Amber taught me how to sew. We are in the process of decorating that.
*Ricky was supposed to return to base on Sunday, but since his brother died, he has a few extra days. The night he died, Ricky and Joe went clubbing. Ricky to drink away the pain, and Joe to find himself a girlfriend. Amber sat at home, so upset, so I went over to hang with her. After about 2 hours, she asked me to tell her a bed time story. Awww. When she's really down, she reverts back to little girl-hood. It helped her relax though, and after about 5 minutes, she was deep asleep. I turned everything off, left her a note and locked up. I haven't talked to her since then, giving her some space...she knows how to reach me if she needs to.
*I just got done with another book, funny story though. I picked up this book the other day, because of the bright orange cover and snappy title. After reading the back, I just HAD to get it! I get home, start reading, and realize...this lady writes like my friend talks! I, of course, had to find out if she wrote it...turns out, she did. Goofball has another pen name, and so I didn't recognize it. I'm gonna have her autograph this one too. =) Anyway, I highly recommend it. It's called "Slightly Single", and it basically describes my life...well, about 70% of it. You can find her books everywhere, and she writes under the name Wendy Corsi Staub, Wendy Markham & Wendy Brody. Hey Wendy, what do I get for pluggin' you? =) LoL
*On Friday I went in for my Colonoscopy. Dang Dr's didn't put me to sleep! And the nurse made a bruise on my hand with the IV. But basically it was useless. She set up the tubes in my hand, and then only used it to calm me down. On the (only) plus side, I got to watch them do it, which was pretty cool. Seeing the inside of my stomach, and I also got to see them cut me inside...not so much fun. For the next 2 days I was soooooore! But I am doin' good now. I also had my UGI & SBFT yesterday, took 6 freakin' hours. @@ But the people were really nice. I was very sleepy, because I had fallen asleep around 3:30, and had to get up at 6:30. Every time I had to lay down to get more X-Rays taken, I fell alseep on the table. Not an easy task, since I was laying on those awful tables (with no cushion to speak of) and it's kept at 45* in there. My legs were turning a little blue, I was weak from lack of sleep, and I had to drink 3 cups of that chalky-sour-bubbling-near-vomit inducing crap, so yeah...not a fun day. I got home in the late afternoon, and decided to take a nap. I set the alarm, and slept for 1 1/2 hours. I woke up (barely) and managed to stay
awake for 40 minutes or so, then I had to take a nap again. This time for an hour. I knew I had to work the next morning, and couldn't sleep all day, otherwise I wouldn't get up in time. So I forced myself to stay awake this time. Boss lady calls me, and says she doesn't need me until Weds. Cool stuff, 'cept now I'm past sleep. So here it is, 12:53am (even though this site says something else)...and here I am, talking to you all. ::shrug:: Could be worse.
*The other night I was getting kind of fed up with how sucky my health is. I've been down the "it's not fair God" road too many times to count, and I am tired of it. But God, in His wonderful love and mercy, reminded me that this is just my lot in life. We are all given certain things to deal with on this journey, and this happens to be mine. But He didn't just give me these situations and leave it at that. He blessed me with supportive friends and family, and Doctors to help me. I won't lie and say I feel lucky to be this way, but I *do feel sort of special. God can, will and HAS used me to bring others to Him. People see me in pain, and marvel at my strength...and I get to tell them, no...not MY strength, HIS! May He continue to use me to bring glory to His name.
*I want to make some song dedications on here, but it'll take me awhile. I plan on posting about 20 different songs on here, so...I guess I'll have to do it later today (when I wake up) or maybe even in a little while. Who knows, but stay tuned...=)
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 1:03 am by Preci0us-S0ul
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Today, just hours ago, my best friends Brother in law, passed away after a 2 year long battle with cancer. One of his last comments was, "I hope the Marlins win", he didn't get to see it happen.
In loving memory of Junior "June Bug" Mojica
1984-2003
Typed in at 9:21 pm by Preci0us-S0ul
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Let me take a moment to describe my dream man, and our ideal relationship.
First of all, he'd have the following characteristics:
1) Devout Christian who is ready to be the spiritual head of the family/household
2) Loving
3) Understanding
4) Good (and healthy) sense of humor
5) Loves & is good with kids
6) Intelligent
7) Friendly
8) Giving
9) Hardworking
10) Laid Back
Looks/Nationality not terribly important. I've dated everything from short skinny black men, to tall heavy white men. The more I like/love someone, the more attractive they are to me. The most important thing is his relationship with our Heavenly Father, and his love for me. =)
I can just picture our home life. Spending time with our children, tucking them in after stories and prayers, then maybe taking in a board game, a movie (at home)...heck, maybe even going for a swim or playing a basketball game.
I guess I shouldn't get my hopes all high and stuff, God knows things usually don't turn out how you'd like...but like I said, this is 'ideal'. If this isn't meant to be, I will find peace and contentment in whatever God has planned for me.
I think so much about my future relationship with my soul mate, partly because I am lonely, partly because I know how lucky my future man would be, and partly because (and I hate to admit it) I'm jealous of my friends. I have tons of friends, only 2 of them aren't married, only 2 of them don't have kids. My friends range in age from 20-28, so it's not like I'm around these 30+ y/o who are more likely to be married. I guess I sometimes feel like an old maid, at my age! LoL I feel lucky in a way, I don't have the issues that they have. I know my time will come...I just feel kind of left out.
Well, time to end this part. I'm gonna post some lyrics...
x0x ; Preci0us Typed in at 3:53 pm by Preci0us-S0ul
{{{ PAST }}}
[ + ]first grade teacher's name: Mrs. Angeli
[ + ]last word you said: "Bye"
[ + ]last song you sang: "At Last" by Celine Dion
[ + ]last thing you laughed at: Something on TV
[ + ]last time you cried: Yesterday
...PRESENT....
[ + ]what's in your cd player: "Stripped" from Xtina
[ + ]what color socks are you wearing: Nada
[ + ]what's under your bed: It's a waterbed, so...drawers
[ + ]what time did you wake up today: 8am
[[[ CURRENT ]]]
[ + ]current hair: Light Brown
[ + ]current clothes: Blue Jeans & Light Pink "It's not easy being a Princess" t-shirt
[ + ]current annoyance: My stomach
[ + ]current smell: Well, the room smells like Apple Cinnamon, I smell like Vanilla hair products and "Nokomis" perfume
[ + ]current longing: Peace
[ + ]current desktop picture: A graphic I made on PSP
[ + ]current favorite music artist: Too many to name...
[ + ]current book: "The Late Great Planet Earth" which was written in the 70's and it's a Christian "End Times" book
[ + ]current worry: When will I find perfect peace in God, instead of searching for earthly "fillers"
[ + ]current hate: Evil, I always hate evil...and it's the only thing I *do hate
[ + ]story behind your username: I feel that I am a Precious Soul...=)
[ + ]current favorite article of clothing: Jeans
[ + ]favorite physical feature on a guy: Smile
[ + ]line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "Awww girl I am sorry! I'll keep you in my prayers"
[ + ]i am happiest when i'm: Singing, dancing, reading, sleeping
[ + ]i feel lonely when: The only time I *don't feel lonely is when I talk to God
[ + ]favorite authors: Terri Blackstock, Erica Spindler, Shakespeare, Tami Hoag
[ + ]if you could live anywhere in the world, where: Virginia or England
[ + ]famous person you have met: A few...
[ + ]do you have any regrets: Yeah
[ + ]sex or love: Love
[ + ]favorite coffee: Vanilla, Hazelnut & Irish Cream...I like lots, and cold Coffee too
[ + ]favorite smell: I have lots, but what comes to mind first is "Vanilla Lace" by Victoria Secret
[ + ]what makes you mad: Not too much. I mean, I get irritated, but 'mad' isn't something that comes easily to me
[ + ]favorite way to waste time: AOL
[ + ]what is your best quality: My personality
[ + ]are in currently in love/lust: Neither
[ + ]what's the craziest thing you have ever done: Not gonna go there! It's not something I'm proud of
[ + ]any bad habits: Who doesn't have bad habits? LoL I have a few...
[ + ]do you find it hard to trust people: In general
[ + ]last thing you bought yourself: I got my nails done =)
[ + ]bath or shower: Both
[ + ]favorite season: Winter, because summers here are TOO hot, and because it never snows here, so I like to see it when I can
[ + ]favorite color: White, black, purple, pink, blue, silver
[ + ]favorite flavor: Lots...
[ + ]favorite time of day: It varies
[ + ]gold or silver: Both
[ + ]any secret crushes: Yeah
~*~ FASHION ~*~
[ + ]do you wear a watch: No
[ + ]favorite stores: Berean (Christian Store)
[ + ]how big is your closet? Medium size
[ + ]ever spend more then $200 in a store?: Yeah
<<>>FRIENDS<<>>
[ + ]do your friends know everything about you: No, lots of things are between me & God
[ + ]what do they tend to be like: Just great people in general :)
[ + ]can you count on them: A few...
[ + ]can they count on you: Always
?? LaSt??
[ + ]last book you read: "You're late again, Lord!"
[ + ]last movie you saw: Son in Law
[ + ]last movie you saw on the big screen: Legally Blonde 2
[ + ]last show you watched on tv: Cosby Show
[ + ]last song you heard: "At Last" by Celine Dion
[ + ]last thing you had to drink: Pepsi
[ + ]last thing you ate: Tomatoe Soup
[ + ]last time you showered: About 6 hours ago
[ + ]last time you smiled: When I got to this question, honest! =)
[ + ]last time you laughed: A few minutes ago
[ + ]last person you hugged: My Mom
[ + ]last person you talked to online: Jenny
[ + ]last person you talked to on the phone: My Sister
((( DO YOU )))
[ + ]smoke: No...thank God! :)
[ + ]do drugs: No
[ + ]sleep with stuffed animals: No
[ + ]have a dream that keeps coming back: No
[ + ]play an instrument: No
[ + ]believe there is life on other planets: No
[ + ]read the newspaper: No
[ + ]believe in miracles: Yes
[ + ]consider yourself tolerant: Yes
[ + ]consider police a friend or foe: Mostly friend
[ + ]like the taste of alcohol: Eh, barely any kinds
[ + ]believe in astrology: No
[ + ]believe in magic: No
[ + ]go to church: I need to go back!
[ + ]have any secrets: Of course
[ + ]have any pets: Yes
[ + ]go or plan to attend college: Plan on it
[ + ]talk to strangers: Yes
[ + ]have any piercings: Yes (5)
[ + ]have any tattoos: No
[ + ]hate yourself: No
[ + ]wish on stars: No
[ + ]like your handwriting: No
[ + ]believe in witches: No
[ + ]believe in ghosts: Eh...
[ + ]believe in santa: No
[ + ]believe in the Easter bunny: No
[ + ]believe in the tooth fairy: No
[ + ]trust others easily: Not really
[ + ]sing in the shower: No
x0x ; Preci0us Typed in at 3:02 pm by Preci0us-S0ul
Monday, October 20, 2003
I really should be updating everyday, but I suck and I'm bad...so there ya go.
I just got back from getting my nails done. They turned out really nice, so I'm trying to be careful with them right now. I took Sandi with me, she didn't enjoy it too much. Guess it's a little too girly for her, being a tomboy and all. It would have been cool to have Amber with, but Ricky is in town until this coming Sunday, and he's been a real pain in the butt.
Ya know, I need one of those voice activated typing things, because I really have a lot to say, but I don't feel like typing. Which is part of the reason I haven't updated. Dang I'm lazy...=)
I'm supposed to work tomorrow, but I have the dentist instead so that's kinda cool. But I also have to take Friday off for my stomach procedure. More money I get to miss out on, fun stuff man.
I can't believe my birthday is soooo close, it's kinda scary actually. Sure there are other 'mile stone' BDays...1st, 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 50th....but 21st? Just seems like my life will be downhill from then on. Irrational as it is. ::shrug::
God's really been revealing stuff to me lately, in fact, more so in the past 2 weeks then I can ever remember. Either He's talking more, or I'm finally listening. Which ever way, I'm learning some interesting stuff about myself, some of it kinda scares me. Things like, how I am with guys, and why I shouldn't be in a relationship right now. Why I'm lonely and unhappy, and how to deal with it. Tons and tons of things that I can't even begin to explain here. Oooo, something is wrong with my computer, it's delayed and acting weird. Hmmm...
I'm going to do another virus scan and try to blog in a little bit.
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 9:37 pm by Preci0us-S0ul
Friday, October 17, 2003
My name is: Preci0us...of course it's not my real name, but it'll do
I was born on: November 6th, 1982
I am from: Arizona
In the morning I am: Tired
All I need is: God
I'm afraid of: Losing faith, love & my sanity...oh, and I hate bugs! and the dark...and, stuff
I dream about: Ya *DON'T* want to know
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E .S E X-
What do you notice first?: Smile
Last person YOU slow danced with: Scott
Worst question to ask: 'Can we have sex?'
-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
Sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?: No
Save aol/aim conversations: I have once or twice
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Uh...no
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
You talked to on the phone: Amber
Hugged: Sierra. Awww =)
You instant messaged: It's been so long, I don't even remember
You laughed with: My Dad
Kissed: What kind of kiss? LoL If you mean like a romantic kiss, it was Scott. If you mean a sweet kiss, it was lil Jaden. He's going through a puckering stage right now =)
-D O .Y O U-
Color your hair: No
Ever get off the computer: Yeah
Habla espanol: No
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
Smoke cigarettes: No, I quit!
Have a girlfriend/boyfriend: No
Obsessive: Not really
Could you live without the computer?: Of course
How many peeps are on your buddylist?: I don't have a buddy list
Whats your favorite food?: Pasta, Tacos...eh, depends
Whats your favorite fruit?: Apples
Drink alcohol?: Sometimes
Like watching sunrises or sunset: Sunrises
What hurts the most; Emotional or Physical? Emotional, hands down
Trust others way too easily?: No
-N U M B E R-
Of times I have had my heart broken?: Lemme see...11 times
Of boys I have kissed?: 5
Of girls I have kissed?: 0
Of times I have moved?: 3
Of tight friends?: 2
Of cd's that I own?: I stopped counting after 50
Of scars on my body?: About 15
Of things in my past that I regret?: Sex & Smoking
I KNOW: God is real
I WANT: To be healthy
I HAVE: A wonderful personality
I WISH: That there was world peace
I HATE: When people fight
I MISS: Laying down next to the man I love
I FEAR: Losing faith
I HEAR: Amber on the phone
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 9:29 pm by Preci0us-S0ul
This morning I got up @ 6:30...very early for me. Luckily I went to bed around 8:30 last night, so I got enough sleep. Sandi and Karen left today for the retreat, them getting ready is what woke me up. Errr, ah well.
Sandi told me that Amber called last night, dear hubby came into town. No comment. Actually yeah, I have a comment. He gets on my nerves. Lets put the more personal issues aside and focus on his complete lack of respect for his chosen profession. He joined the marines to get an education and so he could move out of his moms house. Not too big of a deal there. However, he HATES being told what to do. He's not supposed to leave base during the week, and only allowed to be 15 miles away from base on the weekends. What does he do? He drives from Cali to Az EVERY weekend. He finally got into deep crap about a week ago, and isn't even allowed to go to the military ball in November. He's supposed to be on this restriction for 40 days, but no...here he is in Az again. @@ I just have some issues with his attitude towards his job, I guess since I grew up military. My Dad and Ex-Boyfriend were in the Navy, 3 of my brothers were in the Army, and my good friend Richard is in the Marines. Men who were/are devoted to the USA, and this guy goes around getting a free ride all the while spitting on the flag. He says he comes down to see his wife and his brother, but I'd say 80% of the time he's here, he's out with his friends drinking and doing God knows what. About a month ago he slept with some girl, but Amber has decided to ignore her husbands issues. Love is blind. Hopefully he'll be gone come Monday, until then I can't see her.
I gotta get ready for work now, fun fun.
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 9:45 am by Preci0us-S0ul
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Here
Sitting all alone
In the stillness of my room
Silence fills the space
Where once I held you
There's a breeze around me
A memory that chills me to the bone
And I wonder where you are
It's tearing me apart
My heart can't let you go
I try to break away
It haunts me every night
But the ghost of you won't fade
You've hypnotized my soul
And my heart can't let you go
I try to turn the page
I know I must move on
But I'll never get too far
Because you are all I want
Your touch is missing
A loss like I have never known
And I don't know where to start
My heart can't let you go
No matter how hard I pretend
That you might be coming back again
I'll just have to face the facts...
Every story has an ending
Eh, despite how this may sound, I still had a nice day. Real nice actually...too bad I have to go to bed now, I'll blog later...
x0x ; Preci0us
Typed in at 2:38 am by Preci0us-S0ul
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